Mad Soul Child

The start of something, anything, that has some sort of significance behind it in where it will lead you always carries the most difficulty in starting. Where are your ideas? Are they any good? What is good anyways? Are you able to portray them in a way that appeals to every viewer? Or just a specific audience?

How the fuck do you know if you can finish it? Whatever IT really is. Ahhhh.

I have ideas, that are froming into projects but that initial thrust is slow and I'm impatient, with myself, with the world, with myself. I cannot expect greatness from the very first complete work. I want it now. NOW NOW NOW. ahhhh. But at the same I don't. I want to be able to say 'I worked hard to get where I am'

Sigh.

The Lifestyle

Anxiety is building up and clogging any rational thoughts that may or may not be residing in my brain. I would like to believe that I am a rational person but my actions in how I express my emotions say otherwise. I am just so incredibly anxious.

anxious, anxious, anxious.